


Génnisi

by The_KLF



Category: Castle
Genre: Castle Ficathon 2014, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-08 00:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1920579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_KLF/pseuds/The_KLF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 1 - Γέννηση - Génni̱si̱ - Birth</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Ómorfo Fengári](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1813102) by [The_KLF](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_KLF/pseuds/The_KLF). 



> Welcome to my 2014 Castle Ficathon entry. This is going to be a collection of stories in the same future 'verse as my story called Ómorfo Fengári, which I wrote for Lou's birthday last year. You should probably read that first, as it serves as an introduction to this larger tome, and it also references events that we will see in this collection. We're going AU from bang on the end of Season Six, flaming car wreck and all. So, without further ado, let's begin!

It had been five weeks after the day her world turned upside down when Kate Beckett stood in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror as she waited for the water to turn hot in the shower. Sure, she had looked before, every day in fact, as if doing that would make him magically appear in the mirror behind her, wrap his arms around her stomach and mould himself to her spine. But today something seemed... off.

Kate closed her eyes and imagined her hands were his as they ghosted across her abdomen but what those hands found there were not the expected lines of muscle. Her eyes flew open and she stared at her body, willing them to see what she thought her fingers had felt. She turned and regarded herself from the side but that didn't help much.

She ran out of the bathroom, the water forgotten as it flowed into the shower stall, and grabbed her phone from her side of their bed. She scrolled to Lanie's number with shaking hands, and her friend was swift to respond.

“Hey, Girl, we still on to meet at eight before work?”

“Lanie...” Kate gasped. “Lanie, I need you to get over here with a blood testing kit. Now. Please.”

“A blood tes-... why, what's happened?” Lanie's voice began to rise, matching the panic in Kate's .

“I just need you here, with a kit, okay? Can you hurry?”

“I'll try, honey, just take it easy, and get Martha to make you some breakfast.” Beckett pulled the phone from her ear and disconnected the call without saying anything more when she realised the aforementioned lady of the house was making her way through the office and into the bedroom.

“Katherine?” Martha knocked and entered straight away but pulled up short and turned her head when she realised that her almost daughter-in-law was standing there naked as the day she was born, “Katherine, I was just about to put the kettle on, and wondered if you wanted anything...” She left the apology for intruding unvoiced, but Kate knew it was there.

“Sorry, Martha, I just... had to call Lanie before I forgot why I needed to call her.”

“Of course, darling. I'll make you a peppermint tea.” 

Kate frowned. Peppermint seemed an unusual choice, and it was better that than coffee in this precise moment, but how did Martha know her suspicion? How had she guessed what Kate had only just realised might be going on, that the reason she's been so sick might not be related to the anxiety and stress after all. “Get in the shower, dear, before you drain all the hot water from the building!” Martha's voice floated in from the kitchen, jolting Kate back into action.

* * *

Lanie arrived to find the loft's two current inhabitants sitting at the kitchen counter, their backs to the front door with mugs of steaming liquid in front of them. It seemed unusually quiet in the room, but perhaps that wasn't so unusual nowadays, with the man whose name graced the deed of the place somewhat... absent.

“Now what in God's name did I have to traipse all the way up to the office to get a blood testing kit for, Kate?” The two seated women turned as one with raised eyebrows and watched Lanie bustle in. “Lift up your sleeve so I can get at you,” she ordered.

“It's, uh...” Kate began as she rolled up the cuff on her left arm and pushed it over her elbow. “Lanie, I think I'm pregnant.”

The medical examiner stopped halfway through swabbing the crook of Kate's arm and looked up, first at Kate, and then her eyes flicked to Martha briefly, assessing the despairing hope in the woman's wide eyes, before her gaze returned to Kate. She returned to her task without a word, efficiency in every movement as she drew some of Kate's blood into a tiny vial, put a band-aid over the needle site and returned all the instruments to her bag. Then, and only then, did she look back up at her friend, tears brimming in her eyes.

“I don't even know what to say, Kate. How is that even fair on you? On your family? On your baby?” The first tear slipped onto Lanie's cheek before she launched herself into Kate's arms and clung on for dear life. “He would've wanted to be here for this.”

Somehow, Kate was keeping her cool, even with her best friend weeping on her shoulder. “He's not dead, Lanie, he's alive, somewhere. If that test comes back positive it just means we have even more reason to find him, even more than we did before, okay?” She received a sniffly nod in response. “Come on, let's get this to the lab and then I'll go to my meeting with Gates.” 

She stood, stopping for a warm hug with Martha, before leading Lanie out of the loft.

* * *

Captain Gates stood with her back to the inner windows of her office, her eyes unfocused as she took in the view of the Brooklyn Bridge through the external windows. With one hand perched on her hip, she sucked on one of the arms of her glasses, deep in thought, the sun reflecting from nearby buildings as it beat through the panes.

“Good morning, Sir.” 

She turned with a deep breath at the sound of Detective Beckett's voice. How that woman could look so put together after the disappearance of her partner – and with no leads to go on in the case – was a complete amazement to the captain. Had the roles been reversed, Victoria was almost certain she wouldn't have been able to stand without aid.

“Take a seat, Detective.”

They both sat down, opposite each other across the desk, and regarded one another for the barest moment. Gates was about to speak when Beckett's phone announced a new message. Though the detective made no move to look at it, Gates gestured for her to carry on. She watched as Kate removed her phone from her pocket and raised her eyebrows at the message, before nodding decisively and laying the device on her thigh.

“Sir, it seems there's a couple of things I need to talk to you about this morning.” Gates tilted her head, indicating to Kate to continue. “Firstly, I've just found out that-... that I'm pregnant.” She paused, as if waiting for some kind of reaction, but Victoria had no reaction to give now that she'd just had her suspicions confirmed. “And, uhm, there's no new leads in the Castle case. But sir, I can't just stop looking for him. You have to underst-...”

Gates lifted her hand and Beckett's pleading stopped instantly. “Kate, I do understand. I know you follow the evidence in front of you, and from what you've shown me I agree that it's still a missing persons case.” She stood and walked around her desk to take the seat next to Beckett. “But you are a homicide detective, this is the homicide department, and people don't just stop killing each other in New York City.” 

Kate looked down at her feet, twisting her engagement ring around her finger. Her captain reached over and stilled her hands with one of her own. “Congratulations on the baby. Do you know how far along you are?” Kate shook her head and pursed her lips, tears welling in her eyes. “Well, get yourself booked in with your OB-GYN doctor as soon as you can and keep me informed. As you probably know, there's no strict policy about how long you can remain on full duties, but we'll play it by ear, and I suggest that when you're finding your vest a bit tight then it's time to stay at your desk.” Kate huffed a small laugh and Victoria gave her hands a final squeeze before she relinquished them and began to stand again, before being stilled by the shrill ring of Kate's phone.

They both looked at the screen before Kate answered, “Hey, Alexis, how's Mexico City?”

Alexis' voice came through loud and clear for both women to hear even without the call being on speaker.

“Kate, I found him! I found Dad! He's here! He's safe! I found him!”


	2. Chapter 2

“ _¡Digan whiskey!_ ”

Alexis scrunched her face in delight and the sound of her iPhone camera going off only made her laugh harder. “Whiskey?” she managed to ask once she'd calmed down.

“ _Sí, whiskey,_ ” Ana grinned. “ _¿Cómo se dice en Inglés?_ ”

 “We say 'cheese'.” Ana repeated the word, pulling out the 'ee' sound for a few seconds longer than necessary, and they both laughed again.

At the beginning of June, Kate and Martha had bid Alexis a tearful farewell at La Guardia airport. She hadn't really wanted to leave her family behind but staying at home in the loft, in the city her dad loved so much... it was breaking her heart without him there, even with Kate steadfastly refusing to give up the search for him. So they decided, as a family, that – excepting the honeymoon – it would be a good idea to stick to whatever plans had already been made.

For Alexis, this meant a summer placement in a mental health institution in Mexico City. She'd arrived two weeks before the placement started to attend an intensive language course. In spite of spending the summer before in Costa Rica, and her minor in Spanish, she felt the need fully immerse herself in the culture and what better way to do so?

She'd been assigned a host family, and she didn't think she could be more grateful that she and her host sister, Ana, had become so close so quickly. She had been taking her to see a different part of the city every evening after her school lessons, and they would converse in a mixture of English and Spanish, both improving in the other's language the more time they spent together.

“ _¿Tienes hambre?_ ” Alexis asked and Ana nodded. “ _Yo también._ ”

“Let's go home,” Ana suggested. “We cook _quesadillas_ today.” Alexis' tummy rumbled and the girls laughed as they headed for the bus. 

* * *

“ _Bienvenido al Centro de Asistencia e Integración Social, Alexis, soy Doctora Hidalgo._ ”

The doctor beamed as she welcomed her new assistant and began to explain a little about the work she would be helping with during her placement there. Alexis took in as much of her surroundings as she could while they walked from the front gate across the exercise yard towards the main structure, two separate L-shaped buildings connected by a covered alley at the shorter end.

The centre was crowded, dirty in the common areas from layers of mud and dust, and the only actual windows were in the small office area – a building which seemed to have been erected years ago as a temporary structure – which was through the alleyway, forming the fourth side of a neatly-kept garden in the centre of the patient wings.

She was to be working in both sides of the facility, segregated as it was by gender, and always with the supervision of a doctor. She met the other assistants and some of the auxiliary workers, and was surprised that there were so few – with around seven hundred patients, she had expected almost a hundred staff but in reality it was more like half that.

Alexis had known from the reading she had done that the mental health system in Mexico was relatively new and resources were stretched but they were spread more thinly than she had realised. The majority of the patients suffered physical as well as mental disabilities, though the graveyard of broken wheelchairs made her wonder if there were more people in the hospital that were in need of one. She got through her first day with wide eyes and was more than grateful for the hugs from Ana and her mama, Señora Francisco, when she got back to her placement family.

“Alexis, what you are doing is very selfless, you and all the assistants who come to stay with us. Everyone comes back from the centre on the first day with eyes like saucers.” Alexis giggled at the last part, _ojos como platos_. Señora Francisco bustled around the kitchen while she chatted on in Spanish and Alexis tried to keep up, doing better now than she had been when she first arrived.

She could feel it getting easier though, and by the end of her third week in Mexico City she was confident enough to venture out to the market with Señora Francisco's shopping list. Her skin had broken out in tiny freckles almost everywhere the sun could get to it – despite the copious amounts of sunscreen – but she was still almost as pale as a ghost compared to the locals. She had gotten used to the nickname _Blanca_ , and found she didn't mind it at all. Better that than something about her hair.

Most of the staff had even started to call her Blanca at the centre, and she answered to it with a smile. Even some of the patients would say “ _¡_ _Hola Blanca!_ ” as she passed them in the corridors and she would give them a cheery wave and say hello back.

“ _Vale, hoy vamos a trabajar con unos hombres sín voz. No sé si ellos no pueden hablar o si escogen no hacerlo, pero igual necesitan nuestra ayuda._ ” Alexis nodded, taking it all on board. Men who either can't or choose not to speak, they needed help too.

 _Everyone needs help_ , she thought.

She accompanied the doctor through the labyrinthine corridors of the centre, navigating to where their first patient usually was at that time of day. Where he almost always was, in fact. Doctora Hidalgo told Alexis that this man came to the centre only a few weeks ago. He'd been found lying on the doorstep as if he had been dumped there. He didn't seem to understand anyone, hadn't said a word – not even his name – and although he had made some eye contact with the staff at first, that had quickly disappeared until he simply sat in his room all day, only moving when someone came to tell him it was time for a meal or that he had to take some exercise in the yard.

It was like he had imprisoned himself within his mind, the doctor had told her. He barely ate, he didn't shave and only performed perfunctory ablutions once daily. Alexis nodded sadly, finding herself sympathising with this man more than any she had yet encountered at the centre.

Doctora Hidalgo knocked on the door and entered the small single occupancy room slowly, smiling and calling out “ _¡Hola José! ¿Cómo te va hoy?_ ” The man sat on the edge of the bed facing the open gap in the wall that served as a window, his shaggy hair wafting in the slight breeze. He neither moved nor acknowledged the doctor, except for a heavy sigh which made his hunched broad shoulders shift under the dirty, threadbare t-shirt he was wearing. The doctor turned to Alexis to give her a nod, as if to say this was to be expected. “ _Tengo una asistente conmigo, su nombre es Alexis._ ”

The doctor watched as the man's spine stiffened and he sat up straight, causing her eyebrows to raise in surprise at the first acknowledgement he had made of anything she had ever said to him. He stood slowly and turned as if bracing himself for disappointment, but when his eyes alighted on her assistant his jaw dropped. From the corner of her eye, she could see Alexis' face mirroring her patient's.

And finally, the man spoke, his voice cracked and parched. “A-... Alexis?”

Doctora Hidalgo turned to her right in surprise, to see tears streaming down her assistant's cheeks. She glanced back at the man and then back to Alexis.

One word, emitted through a whispered sob, made everything suddenly clear.

“Daddy!”

* * *

As he held her in his arms she wept the most sublime and joyful tears she could remember. He stank of sweat and dirt, and he was much harder at the edges than the last time they hugged, but she didn't care if his collarbone was bruising her cheek, _he was alive._

He was here. Alive. In Mexico. And of all the places in Mexico he could have been, he was in the mental hospital she was volunteering at. If she wasn't clinging to him for dear life, and he to her, she would never have believed it.

She could hear his heartbeat in one ear, and in the other his hoarse whisper, “I love you, baby, I love you.”

“ _¡_ _Es un milagro!_ ” Doctora Hildago whispered, her hand still over her mouth in surprise. It truly was a miracle.

The doctor's phone beeped, announcing a text message, and the noise broke the reunion in the room. She looked at the message and then looked up at Alexis and her father, speaking in almost perfect English. “I am needed in the other side of the hospital. Alexis, take your father to the office and call your family. I am sure they will want to know he is safe.” With a growing smile she turned and walked out of the door, both Castles watching her leave with matching expressions of surprised joy.

“Come on, dad, let's go call Kate and Grams.” She grabbed his hand and dragged him through the corridors as fast as she could without running, the patients they passed greeting her with her nickname, smiles and waves.

She was so focused on getting to her phone she didn't have time to wave back and when they finally reached the small office she rushed straight in, still towing him along. His head whipped around when he heard her speaking Spanish to the people there, and she laughed at his surprised expression, “Yes, Dad, I will tell you what I said later.” She gently guided him to the bench seat along the wall before she went to her locker and got her phone from her bag.

He started trying to ask something but was interrupted by a coughing fit. One of the staff brought him a bottle of water and he took it with a grateful nod, sipping with care while Alexis turned her phone on and waited for a signal; as soon as the bars appeared at the top of the screen she dialled Kate's number, putting the phone on loudspeaker as she sat next to her dad on the bench, as close as she could get without sitting in his lap like a toddler. 

After a couple of rings, the call connected and Alexis saw tears forming in her dad's eyes when he heard his fiancée's voice.

“Hey, Alexis, how's Mexico City?”

She reached up to wipe the tears from his stubbly cheeks as she almost shouted into her phone.

“Kate, I found him! I found Dad! He's here! He's safe! I found him!”


	3. Chapter 3

Damn, my head feels like it's been through twenty rounds with Muhammad Ali.

Shit, it's hot. Really hot in here. Oh, a breeze. Ow, watch the head, that was my head on the car door frame you jerk. Phew, less hot out here. Bright though, keep eyes shut. Oofff, easy, no need for the rough treatment man, ow. Oh god it stinks in this car. Van. Four-wheeled vehicle. Whatever it is. Maybe they could open a window. I hate new car smell. So much plastic. Ugh.

Ugh. That's a good word. Or, sort of word. Is it a word? I don't think it's made it into the Webster's Dictionary yet. Maybe it's just a collection of letters to convey an emotion.

Ugh, shut up, Castle.

Ah! Ow! What was that in my neck? What's... going... on...? 

* * *

This rumbling has been going on for hours. Days even. Except for that bit when it stopped and there was sloshing. 

It's so dark. Why is it dark? Oh, right, my eyes are shut. That explains it. I wonder how much it will hurt when I open my eyes. Let's not try that yet. Everything feels so heavy, I think I'll just stay here. The rumble is kinda soothing, and it's dark, and it's peaceful. I'll stay still. Right here.

Maybe if I stay still they'll stop sticking that needle in me. I don't like it when they do that. The ants come and crawl under my skin and it's creepy as all hell and just fucking weird.

But this is nice. Nothing hurts here. It's just heavy. Maybe Alexis covered me in all the blankets while I was asleep. Again. That was pretty funny.

Wait, Alexis. Where is she? I wonder where I am. Where's Kate? And Mother? 

The wedding! Oh god, I need to get up, wake up Castle, open your damn eyes and wake up, you need to get to your wedding! And Kate!

“ _Eh, creo que está despertando..._ ”

“ _Darle media hora más._ ” 

Ow, dammit, my head. Shit! Ow. That was unnecessary. Ah! And again with the needle! Seriously...?

* * *

“ _¡Dios mio! ¡Juan Carlos, ven! ¡Vete aquí! ¡Ayudame!_ ”

What's... ow, shit my head hurts still. Was that Spanish? What the-...? What is this place? Why are they all staring at me? Where the hell am I? Seriously. Man, why does this crap always happen to me. Or Beckett. Okay, mostly Beckett. Maybe it was my turn.

Ah shit, the needle! Ow that hurts! Just 'cause I managed to hit you, Jesus!

Think, Castle! What would Beckett do?

What... would... no! Wake up! Stay awake!

Don't trust anyone. Don't say anything. Keep still else they'll use that needle again and you do not need that creepy crawly feeling again.

She'll find me. She will. 

She has to...

* * *

Who's this guy?

“ _¡Hola José! Soy Juan Carlos, quieres bañarse? Vamos, hay una toalla y jabón aquí para ti._ ”

Why are you pulling me away from my nice dark corner? Where are we going now? I'm going to end up with twenty new frown lines in my forehead with all these questions that no one ever answers.

Oh, a bath. Yes, I would like that. A towel and soap, thank god they haven't replaced the mirror in here. I don't want to know how awful I must look. I need a damn haircut and this beard is really starting to piss me off. So itchy. 

* * *

Oh god the ants! Get the ants away from me! Why are they crawling under my skin again? Why can't I scratch them away!?

Shit! What the fuck are those?! Giant flying turtles?! Don't let them in the window! No! Not through the window! Help! Help me!

Ah! Another needle! No! No, don't give me that! Whatever it is, I don't want it! I never want to see another needle! Or an ant!

No! Ah!

No...!

* * *

Brrr, cold. Why's it cold in my bedroom?

Where did I put my winter comforter? I thought it was summer now, why would I put it away?

Wait a second... this is not my bedroom. It's... I... Where is it? Is this the same place from yesterday?

Was that yesterday? 

How long have I been asleep for?

Well, at least it's not bright right now. Guess it's night time. Not very interesting view from the window, just a big hill. I wonder if you can call it a window when there's no glass. Hmm.

Pretty quiet here. Peaceful. But definitely a city. There's always a bustle going on down the street, or maybe the next block over. Not up the big hill. I wonder if I'd be able to see the stars if there wasn't a big hill right there.

I wonder if Kate can see the stars right now.

* * *

Was that a knock on the door? 

“ _¡Hola José! Soy Doctora Hidalgo. ¿Cómo te va hoy?_ ”

Oh, this lady. She always says that. She seems nice, and 'Doctora' sounds pretty much like 'doctor' so I guess she's probably okay. She's going to talk at me again and call me José though. I really have no idea what she's saying, except for the 'hola' bit. If only Alexis was here, she could translate it for me.

“ _Vamos a dar un paseo._ ”

Huh? Oh, pulling me up from the bed, okay. Are we going somewhere? Is Beckett here? Did she find me?

Lots of corridors in this place... Oh, wow, there's a lot of people out here. And it's so dusty, I'll just keep my eyes down and try not to breathe too much in, hopefully we'll go back to my room with the itchy blanket and the dark corner that's nice and cool.

* * *

Another scratch on the wall. I make that, what, at least six weeks here now. 

Wherever here is.

I don't really care anymore.

Mother has probably moved to Florida in a fit of dramatics.

I'll never see Alexis graduate. If she ever graduates. She might just join the NYPD to seek out revenge for my disappearance.

Kate will never find me.

Might as well sit on this bed and look out the hole in the wall forever. This is my life now. A big hill, people who I don't understand, and an overwhelming desire for a room on the top floor of the building so that at least if I could get through the bars across the hole in the wall I'd have a chance of making the fall worth it.

What's the point anymore?

* * *

“ _¡Hola José! Soy Doctora Hidalgo. ¿Cómo te va hoy?_ ”

Oh, joy. The knocking doctor. Sigh.

“ _Tengo una asistente conmigo, su nombre es Alexis._ ”

A-... Wait a second. Did she just say Alexis? Can it... could it be?

“A-... Alexis?”

“Daddy!”

* * *

Oh my god, Alexis! Shit, am I crying? I don't care, I don't care, oh god, Alexis. “I love you, baby, I love you.”

Was that a beep? The knocking woman had a phone with her this whole time?! Why didn't she give it to me so I could call Kate?! 

“I am needed in the other side of the hospital. Alexis, take your father to the office and call your family. I am sure they will want to know he is safe.”

She even speaks English. Why didn't she speak English to me?! But I have my baby, and she is brilliant, and beautiful, and wonderful and...

“Come on, dad, let's go call Kate and Grams.”

Yes! Kate! And Mother. But mostly Kate!

“ _¡Hola Blanca!_ ”

What? Are they talking to me? What does that mean? Alexis, what's going on? Where even are we?

Okay, an office. Oh I wonder if they'll let me check my emails. Gina is probably wanting to know why I haven't sent in the manuscript yet.

“ _Hola Juan Carlos, este es mi padre. ¡Mi padre!_ _Necesito llamar a casa._ ”

What... huh? What did you say? Wow. How do you even move your mouth that fast, Alexis?

“Yes, Dad, I will tell you what I said later.”

Heh, sure, laugh at your old man, yeah. Okay, sitting, yeah that's a good idea. Hey, who are we calling first? Call Kate. Kate first.

“Ca-...”

Oh god, a coughing fit, great. Water, thanks man, oh that's better. Hey, you're the dude with the soap...

Ringing. The phone is ringing.

My baby is here. All squished up with me. She's here. God I love her. And I love Ka-... 

“Hey, Alexis, how's Mexico City?”

Oh my god. That's her voice. I never thought I'd hear her voice again.

“Kate, I found him! I found Dad! He's here! He's safe! I found him!”

Yeah you did, Pumpkin. I'm so proud of you.


	4. Chapter 4

Kate pulled the phone from her ear and, mouth agape, stared at it for what felt like an eternity. Alexis' voice brought her back to her senses and she pressed the device back to where it had been.

“Kate? Are you okay? Dad is crying, he's so happy!”

Rick's gentle chuckle, a little watery, came across the line. Kate raised her hand to her mouth, in a failed attempt to keep a sob from escaping. The light touch of Gates' fingers to her shoulder broke the floodgates. She relinquished her phone to her captain just as Ryan and Esposito gently knocked on the door and entered.

“Miss Castle? It's Captain Gates... Kate's fine, it's just very overwhelming news. But I can tell you that she's relieved he's alive and okay.” She put the phone on speaker and her gaze flitted to the partners standing in the doorway whose smiles were so wide they both looked like their faces would break from happiness. “We're all relieved.”

“Even you, sir?” 

Gates took a moment to respond to Castle's voice, brittle and dry but with that hint of teasing she had come to know and... put up with.

“Even me, Mr Castle.”

Kate wiped at her cheeks with the back of her hand and gestured to Ryan and Esposito to come closer. She wasted no time in grabbing Espo's hand for support, and Ryan gripped her shoulder as she requested her phone back with a gesture to Gates.

“Castle...” she sniffed, trying not to let her smile leak into her voice, “I told you I wasn't letting you out of our engagement easily... What made you think running away to Mexico would be the solution for cold feet, huh?”

His laugh filled them all with joy.

“Bring him home, Beckett,” Gates ordered with a smile.

* * *

“ _¿Señora Francisco? ¿Esta aquí?_ ” Alexis called out to her placement family's matriarch. 

“ _Mama fue al mercado, Alexis. ¿Que pa-... que pasa?_ ” Ana's elder brother stumbled over his sentence as he turned around to find Alexis and a man he'd never seen before in his kitchen. “ _¿Quién es este?_ ”

“ _¡Es mi padre!_ ”

Alexis and Rick watched the man's reaction with matching grins. He couldn't stop looking between the two of them in amazement, and the towel he'd been drying his hands with dropped to the floor. Finally, his feet started moving towards them and he held his hand out to Rick.

“Mister Castle, it is an honour to meet you! A very great honour.” They shook hands warmly, “I am Alberto, Alberto Garcia Francisco. Welcome to our home!”

“Alberto works at the CAIS too, Dad, he's a psychiatrist like Doctora Hidalgo.” Rick nodded and glanced at Alexis just in time to catch the pretty blush on her cheeks.

Alexis' phone rang, breaking the silence that had descended. “Hi Kate... yeah we're back at my placement family's house.” She squeezed Rick's arm thoughtfully as she listened. “Okay, I'll ask him and call you back. Okay, bye!”

Rick looked at his daughter, and tried to put a hint of accusation in the glance. Surely he could have spoken to his fiancée and answered the question straight away? Alexis sat at the kitchen table, and Alberto moved to pick up his dropped towel before he returned to drying the dishes to give them a little privacy.

“Dad, why don't you sit down a second, okay? Kate is on her way here. Well, she was on her way to the airport, Kevin and Javier are driving her in their cruiser with the lights and siren on. It was noisy, that's why I didn't just give you the phone.” He grinned at his ever thoughtful daughter as she continued to speak. “She wanted to know who she should be informing next. We've already covered Grams, she was with Gates when I called at first, and she's told Jim too. Do you want her to call Gina? Paula?”

Rick hummed, taking his time to think it over. “Paula, then Gina.” Alexis nodded and waited for him to carry on. He saw a flicker of a frown cross her face when he didn't.

“And do you want them to do a statement?” He shook his head quickly. “No statement. Just a heads up?” He nodded and rubbed his forehead. “How about you go lie down in my room for a bit, Dad, you look tired. I'll call Kate back and then come up with some water and Tylenol, and we can just hang out.” He gave her a slightly stricken look but she just pointed sternly to the stairs that hugged the external wall around the corner of the house. “Last door on the right, bathroom is opposite.”

He looked to Alberto for a little support, but he just shrugged with a smile. Rick narrowed his eyes at the young man, but decided a psychiatrist and an almost-psychiatrist was too tricky a match for him in his current state. He did as he was told and headed out of the kitchen.

* * *

Kate spent the entire flight fiddling with a pen, a blank piece of paper on the tray table awaiting ink. How Castle could sit and write for hours without budging she didn't know; he always had the right words at the right time and she had all the time but no words. They were all stubbornly staying in her head in an incoherent jumble.

By the time the plane had taxied to the gate and the seatbelt sign was turned off, she was about ready to jump out the tiny window. If there were no words, there could be actions. She had made her plan earlier: grab her carry-on bag from the overhead locker, get out of the plane, and run to customs. Then she would turn on her phone in the queue to get through passport control, text Alexis, and then when she was finally out into the open she would head straight to the nearest car rental desk.

This plan was flawless, she thought. But she hadn't factored in Señora Francisco sending Alberto to the airport in the family car. In fact, he'd been there an hour already with his hastily-made name sign by the time Kate burst out of the air-side gate. 

“Señorita Beckett!” His voice carried across to her and her head snapped around to look for the source. She was still scanning for the signs to the car hire desks when he waved and grinned. Kate made her way over to him.

“Hi, do I know you?”

“I'm Alberto, Ana's big brother, Alexis is staying with us. Mama sent me to pick you up.” He looked pleased with himself for having accomplished his task but also a little nervous. When Kate's face changed from confusion to understanding he breathed an audible sigh of relief at her small smile. “You want to go straight home?” She nodded and followed as he led the way.

The car journey was mostly quiet on the way back from the airport. Kate took the opportunity to call Paula, as requested, and the scream of joy Rick's agent let out nearly burst her ear drum. She said she would keep quiet about it but Kate asked her to tell Gina for them – that would give her someone to tell; better Gina than the press. After she ended the call and put her phone away, she realised Alberto kept taking a breath as if he was about to speak, but he seemed to be having trouble starting a conversation.

“So,” he managed, after another few miles of busy roads and wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, “Alexis has told us a little about what happened, and I wanted to tell you how glad we all are that he has been found. But I feel so stupid that he was in the CAIS for so long without me realising who he is.” He glanced over to Kate, “I am so sorry, Señorita Beckett.”

“Oh, Alberto, no... please, it wasn't your fault. You'd never met him, how could you possibly know?”

He shook his head, shame rolling off him in waves. “I should have known the father of Alexis as soon as I saw him. He was found on the floor outside the centre six weeks ago, and I saw him almost every day since five weeks ago.” He clenched his fists around the steering wheel. “I should have known her father.”

It was Kate's turn to shake her head, “No, please don't beat yourself up over this.”

“Señorita Beckett?”

“Please, call me Kate.” He smiled a little.

“Kate?” She nodded for him to continue. “I will make up for my mistake the rest of my life. If Alexis will let me.”

They stopped outside the house and she turned to him, her whole face beaming in a huge smile. He couldn't help but return it, though his smile was full of nervous energy. She grabbed his hand and gave it a quick squeeze before dropping it and almost leaping out of the car onto the sidewalk.

* * *

As soon as Kate entered the kitchen, Alexis leaped up from the table and swept her into a hug. Kate held her almost-step-daughter tight, whispering, “Thank you, thank you so much,” over and over. She pressed a kiss to Alexis' hair before leaning away slightly and holding her face between her palms to get a good look at her. “I'm so proud of you.” Alexis could only nod in response as her eyes filled with tears. “Don't cry, it's a good thing!” Kate joked, making Alexis laugh. “Introduce me to everybody?”

Señora Francisco nudged Alberto and he gave her a quick translation. She immediately spoke up, “ _Llévala arriba ahora, Alexis,_ ” she insisted, “ _¡Estoy cocinando un banquete!_ ”

“ _¿Un banquete, Mama? ¿Por qué?_ ” Ana walked in as she talked but stopped short at the sight of Kate. 

“ _¡Arriba! ¡Ahora!_ ” Alexis began to tug on Kate's hand and she went willingly up the stairs.

“What was all that for?” She asked Alexis.

“Señora Francisco's answer to everything is to cook. And today she has a celebration to cook for. She's been going on about it ever since she got back from the market the first time. She had to go out for more supplies when she found out Dad was here.” They stopped outside Alexis' room. 

“Alexis, before I go in there,” Kate whispered, “I want to tell you something... I, uh... I found out this morning that I... your dad and I... we... I'm pregnant.” Alexis' eyebrows rose in a delicate arch on her forehead.

“How far along are you?”

“I don't know. I haven't seen my OB-GYN yet. But I'm guessing about two months. Maybe a bit more.”

They stood in the hallway facing one another for a few seconds. Kate bit her bottom lip until Alexis' face broke into a grin and they hugged again.

“Does this mean Dad's the last one to know?”

Kate snorted. “Yeah, whoops.”

“Better go tell him then,” she laughed, and moved away to open the door. A faint snore came out from under the thin sheet and Kate advanced towards the slumbering man. The door closed behind her, but she only had eyes and ears for her fiancé.

She'd had a couple of minutes a few weeks ago when she thought he was dead. But here he was lying in his favourite position on his front with his face mostly mashed into the pillow, in all his snoring, bearded glory. She perched on the edge of the bed and traced her fingers over his forehead, pushing his slightly damp, and much too long hair from his face. His eyelids fluttered and the snoring turned into a contented hum. She pursed her lips in a smile and continued her ministrations until he fully awoke. “Kate?”

“Hey, Babe.”

“Kate!” He sat up, scrambling to get his hands on her and pull her into his arms. He kept repeating her name as he crushed her to his chest and she let him take this moment just as she had let herself have hers before he awoke. She breathed him in, smelling like Alexis' shower gel, clean and fresh in a t-shirt she didn't recognise.

He pulled her far enough away from him to take a long look at her face and she felt as though he was drinking in the sight of her. She could freely admit that she was doing the same, and in that moment she felt she would never have enough time to take in his beautiful features as well as do everything else in her life. But then his lips were on hers and she lost all grip on the passage of time, and her train of thought went straight out of the window. She fisted her hands at his lower back in the material of his t-shirt as his were wrapped around her entire body and she felt wrapped up and entirely consumed by him, like a drowning woman who inexplicably washed up on shore all of a sudden, safe and sound.

They pulled apart and rested their foreheads together, panting lightly, breath mingling. She never wanted him to leave her side again.

* * *

He closed his eyes, trying to keep it together. Having Kate in his arms, her scent enveloping him, was almost too much. He was overwhelmed, and tears threatened, but he held it all in, staying strong for her. 

They were both trembling.

“Babe, I have some news.”

He stiffened, his eyes flashing open, wide and startled.

“Relax, would ya? This is good news.”

He let out a breath and returned her shy little smile.

“Turns out you knocked me up before the wedding.”

He looked at Kate in alarm before his eyes widened and his jaw went slack. Then he was on her, pushing her away from his embrace until she fell on her back, head hanging over the edge of the bed. He pushed her shirt up and looked at her tummy in complete wonder.

“Castle, there's nothing to see down there yet, come on!”

He lowered himself to her body and planted feather-light kisses all over her stomach. He breathed words onto her skin, barely giving them voice, but just enough for her to hear.

“Hi poppet! Hi baby! It's daddy! Daddy loves you so much. So much.”

He felt Kate's breath hitch as her diaphragm hiccuped on a barely disguised sob and her abdominal muscles fluttered. “Rick, come on, your beard tickles.”

He stilled above her and lifted his head to look her straight in the eye, a challenging gleam taking hold as he reached for the button on her slacks, undoing it and the zip with a lascivious flick of his eyebrow.

“Castle! Cas-... oh...” 

He returned to dropping tiny kisses over skin, gradually heading lower and lower until her fingernails scraped through his hair. 

“Castle, not on Alexis' bed, come on.”

Within two seconds, he was on the opposite side of the bed to her, almost falling off the side in his haste to escape the mental bucket of iced water that had just been poured on him. Kate laughed. A full belly laugh that started as a giggle, turned into a chuckle, turned a corner with a snort, and ended with a roaring cadence punctuated with gasping breaths and tears.

His cheeks warmed, and he offered a coy grin in reply.


	5. Chapter 5

“So, Alexis, did you make a decision yet?” Ana looked up from her dinner, an eager and earnest look in her eyes as she awaited her friend's response. 

“Yes.”

Ana couldn't wait any longer as she growled in frustration. “And?!”

She turned to speak to Señora Francisco, so she would know the decision. “ _Voy a quedar hasta el final, como estaba previsto._ ”

It had taken two days, and a lot of conversations with Kate, for Alexis to come to this decision. Rick had almost steadfastly refused to have a hand in it, but now that his daughter was announcing it, he made sure to show his support with a smile and a squeeze of her arm. Alexis rested her head on his shoulder and he placed a gentle kiss in her hair.

“ _Y yo y Rick volvemos a Nueva York,_ ” Kate finished for Alexis, her manner still hesitant and nervous when speaking in Spanish with the Franciscos. The matriarch gave her an encouraging smile. 

“That is good. Return to America. Try be normal,” she replied, much to the amazement of her children.

“ _Mama_ , you just spoke in English!” Ana gasped.

“Yes! I learn some! Plenty here learn from.” She gave her daughter an indignant tut and stood up to bustle around the table, refilling everyone's plates without asking if they wanted more.

As the others talked about the logistics for getting to the airport and the game plan for getting past any press that might be waiting in New York, Kate watched Rick push his portion around his plate in circles. She felt like doing the same but didn't want to hurt Señora Francisco's feelings, so took tiny bites, chewing slowly and deliberately as she bought herself time to think. They had a long and arduous road ahead of them as far as Rick's recovery was concerned; she was sure that the majority of the damage had been psychological, and she hoped she could convince him that he needed to find someone to talk to, and soon.

Alberto had tried to get him to open up a little, coax him into saying something more than two or three words at a time. The most he had said to the young man was to ask to borrow a razor to get rid of the beard that had grown since his abduction. Alberto had gone the extra mile and produced hair clippers too, so at least he no longer did a double take when faced with his reflection in a mirror.

The only time Kate had heard Rick speak in sentences was when he would whisper to the baby, an arm slung loosely over her hip and his lips brushing her skin. Even then she couldn't always hear what he said. 

She missed his words.

* * *

“Oh, darling! You're home! Richard!” His mother threw herself at him as they walked into the loft. If Kate hadn't been standing behind him he most likely would have fallen from the sheer force of Martha's embrace. “What on earth were you doing in Mexico, darling?” she demanded, as she released him from her iron grip to get a good look at his face. He gave her an indignant frown. “Well that's hardly a way to greet your mother,” she laughed, leading them both into the great room. He turned his frown into a smile with a quirk of his lips, solely for her benefit, and she pinched his cheek indulgently. “I have created a feast of all your favourite food, including the _pièce de résistance_...” the doorbell announced the arrival of the crowning glory of the table, “...cheeseburgers!”

Martha was too busy sashaying over to the door to notice the grimace he couldn't stop spreading over his face, but Kate gripped his elbow with her hand and tugged him into a hug. He burrowed his face into her neck, breathing her scent deeply, finding a hint of the spray of perfume she'd borrowed from Alexis still lingered above the stale, plane travel smell that clung to them both.

“Oh Richard, is it too much?” Martha reappeared with a paper bag in her hand, the crinkling sound crackling in his ears. He tried to shake his head but a quiet, anguished sob made its way from his chest, undermining any attempt he might have made to put his mother's mind at rest.

He peeked up from Kate's shoulder and saw his mother waiting for his answer but found there was nothing he could say, and when Kate spoke up for him he couldn't hold in another sob, “It's been a long day, that's all Martha. Let me just get him to lie down a while and I'll come tell you.”

“I'll pour you some wine, dear,” she offered, her voice quietening with distance. Rick let Kate pull him into their bedroom and guide him to the bed. With his elbows on his knees he cradled his head in his hands as she took his shoes off and helped him to lie down. He felt the mattress dip when she perched by his waist.

The hand she ran through his hair was settling and he felt himself begin to calm down and sink towards the peace that could only come from knowing he was finally home. But when he felt her stroke his ear and rise from the bed he found himself unable to let her go just yet, whispering into the shadowy room, “Stay, Kate. Please.”

He saw the moment she let herself give in to his request, watched her toe off her shoes and climb onto her side of the bed. He rolled over to meet her but when she laid down on her back he reached for her belly and snaked his hand under her shirt to stroke her skin. He shifted so he was lying with his forehead pressed to her ribs and felt her begin to sift her fingers through his hair again as he began to whisper to the baby.

“Hi baby, it's Daddy. We're home. We're home, poppet, and your Grams is here and she ordered in so much food. Too much food. Something about celebrating life. But it all looked too much and Daddy had to get away from all the food because he's pretty sure there's more food on the dining table than he ate the whole time he was lost, and even coming home can't make him want to eat a cheeseburger.”

He sighed, the frustration at himself threatening to boil over. But Kate kept passing her fingers through his hair as he talked to their baby, more words spoken to the growing child than he had said to anyone since Alexis had found him, and it soothed him, soothed his fears. 

He didn't see the silent tears coursing down her cheeks.

* * *

“Mr Castle, I never thought I'd say this, but... it's truly a pleasure to welcome you back to the Twelfth.” Victoria Gates let a mischievous grin settle on her face and she was surprised when it was not returned ten-fold. She watched Rick Castle glance up from his perusal of his shoes with the barest of smiles, hands firmly in his pockets and shoulders almost up around his ears, his expected confidence entirely absent.

Suddenly Beckett's tone when she had called the day before to inform the captain they were back in the city made more sense, though Gates still didn't think she could be correct about his hardly speaking.

“Detective Beckett, I know you're not officially back yet, but Ryan and Esposito wanted your input on a case if you can spare a few minutes. Would you mind?”

“No, Sir, not at all,” Kate replied, her captain giving her a quickly raised eyebrow to indicate exactly which case she would be looking at. 

“Come in to my office, Mr Castle, we'll leave the detectives to their work for a little while.” Beckett nodded her thanks as Gates turned to usher the nervous man into the glass bowl. She decided it would be a good chance to take matters into her own hands.

* * *

Kate closed the door behind them and strode over to the conference room that had been set up for the case. She was barely through the door before she'd demanded to be brought up to speed, but it didn't take as long as she'd hoped, the details sparse and sketchy.

“So what you're telling me is, we have nothing.”

Beckett stood in front of the whiteboard, arms crossed, daring the boys to agree with her. With a glance to his partner, Ryan stepped up to defend their work so far. “We had something, and we made arrests! We got the guys who torched his car, who took him and drove him all the way to the border. And they'll do some time, Beckett, even if they refuse to coopera-...”

“Some time? Some _time_?!” Ryan held his hands up in an attempt to placate her and stop her from shouting at them, but he was so far out of his league he really shouldn't have bothered, and she steamrolled over him. She pushed up out of her chair so forcefully it flew backwards and straight into the shuttered blinds at the floor-to-ceiling window that separated the room from the bullpen. Ryan and Esposito winced but they were forced to return their attention to her, who had rounded the table and begun to poke both of the detectives' chests. “What about Castle's time? What about _my_ time? And Alexis'? And Martha, and the baby? Will these men go away for the time they deserve? _Life?!_ ” She was about to raise her fist to pummel Esposito's shoulder in frustration when he caught her wrist.

“Beckett! Stop!” She pulled her arm from his grasp but it didn't stop him talking. “Stop taking it out on us, okay? We did our best to find him, and so did you, and you know what? Turns out our best wasn't good enough and we had to rely on the luckiest damn coincidence to find our friend. Yeah, our friend. We lost time with him too, y'know!”

The two of them glared at each other but from the corner of her eye, Kate saw Ryan's eyes narrow as he moved away from them and stopped in front of the whiteboard, staring at it intently.

“Hey, guys? You know who really gets a kick out of coincidences?” He paused and waited for the others to start listening, Kate shook her head at Esposito, stepping away from him and turning her full attention to Ryan. “Castle. He really likes coincidences. So, what if this mighty set up of a coincidence...”

He turned to them with the merest hint of a smile in his eyes. 

“...wasn't a coincidence at all?

* * *

“So Mr Castle, what's it like to be home?” Now that she had adjusted the blinds to prevent wandering eyes from seeing him and settled herself down in the armchair beside the sofa, Captain Gates could see the man begin to relax a little. Though, perhaps relax wasn't quite the word for it; something like 'slightly less jumpy' was probably a better description.

She waited him out for an answer, an awkward couple of minutes' wait in fact, his eyes flicking across the room, not settling on anything for more than a second until they finally returned to staring a hole through his expensive Italian leather shoes and he whispered, “S'good.”

She ducked her head down in an attempt to meet his eyes but he fixated on scratching a red-looking, angry mark on the back of his hand. Victoria realised this was his outlet right now but she couldn't stop herself from reaching out and placing her hand over his own. He startled a little and went very still but kept his eyes well away from hers.

“It's good? I'm glad.” She took a minute to decide where to take the conversation. “You have your family and friends around you, and I'm certain they are all pleased you're back safely.” A flicker of a smile at the word 'family' was all the reaction he gave her, so after retrieving her hand from his and giving him a moment's respite, she continued.

“Rick... tell me about the baby.”

Gates suddenly felt the full force of Rick's happiest smile, the twinkling joy and earnestness of his eyes when he made real eye contact with her would have been enough for her to know exactly what he thought about having a new addition to his family, even without the words that began to flow from him.

“We're going to see the doctor this afternoon, it's Kate's first appointment. I'm so excited to hear the baby's heart beating, to see him swimming around in there. Kate said she wants him to have my eyes but I think I want him to have hers, Kate has beautiful eyes.” He looked away from Gates and the smile dimmed slightly but remained as he stared at a whorl in the grain of the wooden flooring.

She couldn't help but stare at him in amazement, even when Beckett knocked quietly on the door and she stood, walking towards her to meet her at the threshold. “We're all done, Sir, everything okay in here?”

“He told me about the baby, Kate. Sentences, even.” Beckett began to nod sadly. “That's the only time he does, isn't it?”

Kate nodded but somehow she felt she couldn't just leave it there. “He's only talked full sentences to my belly since Mexico. Alexis has taken it hard when she's called to talk to him. He's never been monosyllabic before.”

They both looked over at him with concern, only to find him staring at Kate, an obvious 'I can hear you, you know' look on his face. Kate walked fully into the office and Victoria shut the door behind her, crossing to her desk to lean against it. Beckett paced between the two of them, as if she was trying to get her courage up to say something to him. On the fourth pass, she managed it.

“You need to see a therapist, Rick. Your daughter needs her dad's jokes and inflated stories about the adventures of his day, not a guy she feels like she barely knows anymore because he can't – or won't – talk to her!” She and Victoria folded their arms and watched him gape like a fish. “Your mother needs you too, she still doesn't understand what happened the night before last when we got home. And... dammit, Rick, I need you, because so help me, I am not raising this baby without you.” 

He looked up at his fiancée, tears collecting on his eyelashes. “Okay. I'll try.”

* * *

“And if I flick this switch here, we'll be able to listen to Baby's heartbeat...”

It had been a long afternoon of testing and they were still waiting for most of the results, but finally the moment Rick had been waiting for had arrived. He and Kate had seen their baby on the ultrasound, looking like a tiny misshapen bean with sticky-out bits, and that was exciting. But this was the part he had been most looking forward to, both for himself and for Kate.

Dr Hawley reached over to press a button and a whooshing sound filled the room. Kate and Rick turned to look at each other in awe. There was a knock on the door and a nurse entered with a clipboard, which she handed to the doctor before leaving again. Dr Hawley leafed through the pages one-handed as she listened to the noises made by the Doppler machine, a little frown creasing her forehead. She looked up at the couple, her face becoming neutral, and sending a chill through his veins, his eyes narrowing as he assessed her actions.

“I'm going to switch this off now, okay Kate? We need to discuss some of the test results, would you like to get cleaned up first or do you want to do this now?”

It was Kate's turn to frown. “Now, please.”

“Baby's heart is fully formed around the eighth week of a pregnancy, so now you're about eleven weeks it should be growing good and strong. The heartbeat we just heard was irregular, and there are a couple of indicators in the results that make me think we should do a foetal echo-cardiogram. This is a test to listen to Baby's heartbeat in a more detailed way.”

Rick waited for Kate to say something, but she seemed to be having trouble processing what was happening. He drew a breath and asked what he hoped was the question she wanted to voice. “How serious is it?”

Dr Hawley was silent for a second, her eyes never straying from his as she considered her answer.

“I don’t know yet, Rick.”


	6. Chapter 6

“You don’t know? How can you not know?”

Rick was frowning, his eyes blazing as he started to get worked up. Kate bit her lip, the tiniest frown creasing her forehead. On the one hand, she was rejoicing that he was talking, but on the other she knew she had to stop him before he went too far. She rested her hand on his forearm, his hairs tickling the gaps between her fingers. His full attention went to her straight away and with just her eyes she implored him to let her speak.

“Just let Dr Hawley explain. I trust her with our baby, Rick.”

“But we’ve only just met her!”

“No, you’ve only just met her. I’ve been seeing her for years.” Rick sat back, his mouth forming a silent ‘O’ as he looked over at the doctor who gave him a small smile. “She probably knows my insides better than you do, and… she delivered me into the world.” She paused to allow him to fully understand the force behind her meaning; Dr Hawley had known and earned the trust of Kate’s mother. “So I really would like for you to trust her opinion, please.” She squeezed his arm and smiled when he looked back at her, a guilty apology written all over his features.

“Sorry, Kate. And, sorry, Dr Hawley. Please, tell us what you can.” Kate nodded to the doctor to continue.

“Right now, I wish there was more to tell you. But when we’ve done the ECG hopefully there will be something conclusive in those results. Kate, if it’s alright with you, I’ll pull your mom’s file to double check if there might be any similarities.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Thank you. We don’t have time to do this one today, but if you can make an appointment at the desk with one of the nurses I’ll review the results and call you to discuss them. That sound okay?”

“Yes, thank you.” Kate nudged Castle, who was still chewing his lip and looking like a guilty five year old.

“Oh, thank you, Dr Hawley.”

The doctor smiled at them both, “See you soon, take care.”

When the door snicked shut, Rick stood and swooped in to kiss Kate thoroughly, leaving them both breathless when he pulled away. “Thank you, Kate. I’m sorry I lost it.”

She shook her head at him. “You’re just worried. I am too. But we’re all in good hands, all three of us.”

“About that, I…” He cleared his throat. “Could you call your therapist for me? Ask him who he’d recommend?”

“Sure, Castle. As soon as we get home.”

* * *

Less than a week later, Rick stepped into the office of Dr Maloney. Kate had called Dr Burke and asked for a recommendation; Castle had said he didn’t think it would be right speaking to the holder of all her secrets, that they should spread their secrets around a bit, just in case. And besides, he had said, just imagine the Spoonerism potential in their names.

He had given her a proud smile when his tiny joke elicited a barking laugh.

“Mr Castle, I’m Dr Maloney, it’s good to meet you.” 

Rick smiled and shook the hand the psychotherapist offered to him. The man’s voice was what had commended him first over the phone, the fifteen minute pre-consultation chat winning his newest client over before there was even a chance to Google for the practice’s website. But now that he saw him, the final tick on the mental checklist he would never admit to having was that, in person, Dr Maloney was incredibly… bland. He had the sort of face that was completely unremarkable, leaving Rick’s imagination to fill in the myriad other careers he could have followed had he not taken the lucrative therapist route. CIA spy was, naturally, the first to spring to mind.

“Take a seat, anywhere you like, and we’ll get started.” Having immediately discounted the well-worn brown leather armchair that was clearly the doctor’s preferred seat, Rick chose a bucket seat, upholstered in a deep blue corduroy, from the four or five chairs of different designs and colours in the room. He looked up at Dr Maloney and waited for the opening gambit.

The doctor cleared his throat and sat down, picking up a notepad and pen as he spoke, “Why did you choose that chair, Mr Castle?”

Rick blinked, the question catching him completely off guard. “Well the wingback is obviously yours.” He looked at the other chairs, all facing the doctor’s, and attempted to evaluate his thinking. “This one isn’t directly opposite yours, and isn’t in direct line of sight of the window, and I have my back to a wall without a door so no one will sneak up behind me.” He ran his hands down the arms of the chair, “Also, it looked like soft material, with good back support. And Kate would say the blue compliments my eyes.”

He looked up at the doctor in surprise, having not meant to say the last part out loud. Dr Maloney gave him an encouraging smile. “Tell me about Kate.”

A chuckle rose from his chest. “I hope you’ve kept the session after this free, Doctor. What I could tell you about Kate could fill over a hundred novels and I’m already six books into that never ending series…”

He finally felt ready to talk; there was a light at the end of the tunnel and he was ready to start walking towards it, no matter how long the journey.

* * *

A double rap at the door signalled the arrival of the guest Eduardo had called up to the loft about. “Hey Ryan, Happy Thanksgiving for yesterday,” Rick greeted him, ushering him inside.

“Castle! Hey, man, how’s it going?” Kevin gave him a genuine smile

“It’s okay. You want a drink? Kate said you’ve got something to show me?” He closed the door quietly and clapped Ryan on the shoulder.

“Uh, yeah thanks. It’s for both of you really, I’ve got it all here, just need to use your murder board screen if that’s okay?”

“Sure, head through into the office, I’ll bring you a beer.”

Rick watched Ryan wander into the study, peering through the bookshelves to see Kate giving him a cheerful wave, while he busied himself in the kitchen.

“Hi Kevin.”

“Hey Kate, how’re you doing? Not putting the Christmas decorations up? I thought Castle was big on that the day after Thanksgiving.”

“Yeah well, I convinced him to take it steady this year, because I want to help but I can’t go at his speed for it with being on bed rest. Frustrating as hell but it has its benefits.” She shrugged. “He’s made a start, got the boxes out and brought mine over too, we’re going to combine them.” A smile broke free just as Rick came in with the drinks, beers for him and Ryan, and a cup of decaffeinated tea for Kate. “Anyway, show us what you’ve got, Ryan.”

“Sure, well…” He was up and scurrying to the large screen, USB stick going into the side as he spoke. Rick moved to perch on the arm of the couch beside Beckett, working hard to keep himself from standing with his nose pressed against the screen.

“I, uh… I’ve been sitting on this a while in the hope it would come to something but I don’t think it will, so I thought it was time to show you guys.” He pressed a few points on the screen and brought up some grainy camera footage. “This is from outside the CAIS where you were, Castle, on the night you arrived. I’ve had techs working on the footage, the sound, everything to try and get something out of it but it’s been no good. No visual on any of their faces. Three of them, all medium height and build, all wearing black clothes and masks.” He sighed, “I’m sorry, I know how frustrating it is.”

Rick just nodded, keeping quiet. “You said you had a couple of things though, what else is there?” Kate asked.

“Right, we finally got financials for one of the employees at the CAIS, a Juan Carlos Ferrer, who didn’t show up for work the day after Alexis discovered you were there.” 

A photo of the man came up on the screen and Rick hummed in recognition. “Soap guy.”

“Soap guy?” 

“Yeah, he brought me soap and towels to use every other day. Always took them away with him after.”

“Huh. Reckon that might be how he kept you on the hallucinogens.”

“Could be, I guess.”

“Anyway, Señor Ferrer was receiving $2000 a week while you were there, and an extra five thou’ just before you arrived… we’ve been trying to trace where the money came from but it routes through multiple different locations and originates in a different bank account each time, each of them defrauded rather than false names, so that was a bust.”

“I guess that’s that then.” Kate and Rick looked at one another, resigned to leaving this particular case closed for now, though he was sure they’d mull it over during the night. He wanted to know more, keep following the almost non-existent trail, but with the baby’s arrival drawing ever nearer, there were more important things to focus on. He couldn’t afford to disappear down another rabbit hole. “Thank you so much, Ryan, for keeping an eye on all this and trying to find some answers for Rick.”

“No problem, Kate, anytime, you know that.”

“Appreciate it,” she replied with a smile.

* * *

Almost Christmas, and this baby was beginning to seriously worry Kate. The huge amount of free time that came with being on bed rest meant she had been searching WebMD and she hadn’t been able to tear her mind away from the worst case scenarios that every search revealed.

“Kate, I need you to relax, okay? Your heart’s beating almost as fast as the baby’s…” Dr Hawley glanced up at her patient from over her glasses and received a pointed glare for her troubles. “Where’s that almost-husband of yours today? And did you set a date yet?”

Beckett shut her eyes and went through the breathing exercises she’d been taught at the first appointment more than four months back as her doctor set up the echocardiography equipment. “Actually, um, we just went over to City Hall a couple days ago and did it! I had had enough of all the planning and stuff, the important thing was to have Rick there and our family. It was… understated. But beautiful. We wrote our own vows… Well, he wrote some, and I winged it.”

Dr Hawley grinned, “Congratulations!”

“Thank you,” Kate couldn’t help but grin back. “We had to reschedule his appointment for the wedding, this was the first time the doc had available.” She received a hum in response. “He hated that he’d be missing this, but last night we hardly slept because of his nightmares, so…” Kate shrugged.

“Mmm, how’s that all going?”

“As well as can be expected, I guess. I’m just glad he’s talking again. Those first few weeks… I don’t know how we got through them. He’s almost back to how he used to be, but… somehow he’s more thoughtful. Not that he wasn’t before, but now it feels like he’s really considering what he’s about to say before he says it.”

“That’s a good thing, right?” Dr Hawley asked, her gentle enquiry eliciting an honest response from her patient.

“Sometimes, yeah. Other times I just want him to come out and say whatever popped into his brain.” Kate shrugged.

“Well, just lie back and try to relax and we’ll get this show on the road, see if this little Castle will talk to us today.” 

Kate wished she could relax but as soon as the sound of her baby’s heart beating filled the room she was on edge. Now that she knew it didn’t sound like it ought to she was listening intently to attempt to figure out what about it was different. Of course, she had no idea, and it was pissing her the hell off.

She just wanted her baby to be okay. But the more Dr Hawley talked to her about everything, the less likely it seemed. The baby – its gender still a surprise after being stubbornly uncooperative at the previous scan in November – was developing fine with one issue that overshadowed all the positives. 

A heart defect. 

There was no way of knowing the severity of the baby’s condition until birth when the hospital team could assess properly, and the not-knowing was freaking Kate out. Under doctor’s orders she wasn’t working at the precinct, not even desk duty, and spending almost all her time either resting – which meant lazing around the loft with blankets and books – or doing yoga. Nothing strenuous, or jarring; even riding the subway was forbidden. 

She was so frustrated she could have screamed… but of course, that could also stress out the baby. Every little thing she wanted to do could stress out the baby. Well, almost every little thing she wanted to do. Thankfully, there was one big thing she was still allowed to do, and that was Rick. Turns out that making love was a great stress reliever – for both of them – and so, naturally, they spent a good deal of their now copious time together in bed. 

Mostly they just cuddled and talked, but had found it hilarious to make the boys believe otherwise when they’d all had dinner together and she’d tried to describe her quiet days to them. 

Dr Hawley hummed, bringing Kate’s focus back into the room, but when the doctor lapsed back into silence Kate couldn’t stop herself from asking, “What is it?”

She watched as Dr Hawley pressed her lips into a thin line. “It’s the heartbeat again… I have to admit, Kate, I can’t tell if it’s just an irregular beat, the kind of atrial arrhythmia that will fix itself, or if it’s tachycardia.” Kate frowned, so Dr Hawley elaborated, “That’s when the heartbeat increases when Baby breathes. I’d completely understand if you want to go to see another doctor for a second opinion.”

Kate blinked in surprise. “What? Dr Hawley, no… I trust you. I trust your opinion. If something is wrong with the baby then I know you will tell me and we’ll do what’s necessary to make sure she’s okay.”

Dr Hawley gave Kate a grateful, somewhat misty, smile. “Still reckon she’s a girl, huh?”

Kate grinned, “Hell yes. But Castle is so adamant she’s a boy, he’s picked the name already.”

“Let’s hear it!” the doctor laughed.

“Apollo.”

The doctor shook her head with a chuckle. “I’ve heard a lot worse, believe me…”

“Yeah? What’s your favourite bad name?” Kate loved this about her doctor; the irreverent fun they had during consultations made the threat of bad news a little more bearable.

“Hmm, definitely Fox. Who would call their kid that, really? This must’ve been twelve years ago, maybe fifteen years, and I used to be a huge fan of The X Files. I loved the stories, but I won’t lie – it was mostly because David Duchovny is delicious…”

Kate barely stopped giggling the rest of the appointment.

* * *

Alexis had just taken the bird out of the oven when Rick, over on the sofa with Kate, felt his fingers being squeezed tightly. He looked down at the hand that was holding Kate’s with a frown before he looked up to her face to ask why she was attempting to break his fingers but her eyes were shut tight and he realised she was holding her breath. He leaned closer to whisper to her, “Kate, breathe. What’s wrong, Love?”

After so many years of knowing one another, he was constantly surprised that it had taken him this long to start using a pet name for Kate. He’d even resisted when she started calling him ‘Babe’, but lately he’d found what he realised was the perfect word to call her by.

Through a slow exhalation, Kate replied, “Contractions.”

“What?!” 

He almost leapt off the couch, his response loud enough to turn everyone’s heads. Martha reacted first, her oft-hidden pragmatism at the forefront as she walked towards them from the kitchen with a glass of water in her hand, which she passed to Kate.

“Everything alright, Richard?”

“I, uh…” He fumbled for a response, his eyes not drifting from his fiancée whose spare hand was gripping her seven month bump as if the span of her fingers could prevent anything bad from happening. “Mom… contractions.” Martha sat down on Kate’s other side and rested her arm across her shoulders. Kate leaned into the embrace, stifling a sob.

“It’ll be alright, Darling, let’s start timing from the next one. It’s probably those fake ones, oh, what are they called again?”

“Braxton Hicks,” Rick supplied, still rendered immobile by the sight of Kate in such pain. She turned to meet his eyes and launched herself at him, desperate for him to be right.

“It’s too soon, Rick. She needs to stay in a little longer, another few weeks. What about her heart? Oh God…” Kate collapsed into sobs against his chest and he tried to soothe her as best he could, rubbing his palm over her. He watched Alexis and Jim come to a halt in the kitchen, Christmas dinner all but abandoned.

“It’ll be okay, Love, it will. Come on and sit up, Mother needs to know when the next one starts, okay?” She nodded against his neck before she sat up and wiped her face and running nose with a couple of tissues from the box he offered to her.

* * *

The contractions had waned away to nothing, leaving Martha to milk a smug ‘I told you so’ look for all it was worth. Five days after the festivities were officially complete, Rick and Kate sat at the kitchen counter attempting the giant crossword together. The loft had been a flurry of activity for the last couple of days as furniture for the nursery was brought out of various family storages and the new pieces arrived.

The centrepiece had been a rocking chair handcrafted from wood felled in the same woods that the Beckett’s family cabin stood in. It was a present from Jim, and although he hadn’t made it, he had helped the local carpenter with the wood gathering. It had become Kate’s favourite chair, the rocking motion soothing to the baby even before birth.

“A hundred and thirty-one across, 1987 Peter Falk crime caper.”

The answer was on the tip of Kate’s tongue when she lurched forward, gripping the counter as her spine bowed and an anguished scream of pain escaped her body. 

“Kate! Oh my god!” Rick reached for her but her hand shot out towards him, connecting with his nose. “Ow! Shit!” He started to pinch the bridge of his nose, thankful that it didn’t seem to be broken, and slid off the stool to grab a cloth to catch the blood that was flowing. From a safe distance away, he looked over again at Kate. “What’s going on, Love, what’s wrong?”

She gritted her teeth and tried to breathe through the pain, hissing her reply, “Call Dr Hawley.”

He was already pulling his cell out of the pocket of his robe, finding the number and hitting dial before Kate could start to ask what was taking him so long. He put the phone between his ear and shoulder so he could keep holding his nose. “Hello? Yes, I need to speak to Dr Hawley please, immediately, it’s an emergency… It’s for Kate Beckett. Yes, I’ll hold.”

“Don’t let them put you on hold!” She winced in pain again.

“I can’t help it, she’s with a patient so-… oh, hello? Dr Hawley, thank God, I think Kate’s having contractions. It’s definitely worse than the ones on Christmas Day, she actually punched me this time.” He paused, allowing the doctor to speak. “Well she doesn’t have the squad car checked out from the motor pool because of not being on active duty, so… uh huh… yeah… okay. Okay, yes, I’ll do that straight away. Thank you, Doctor, see you soon.”

“What did she say?” Kate was imploring him to get back to her side with the wiggle of her fingers.

“To not worry too much, but also to call for an ambulance. Which was somewhat a mixed message.” He returned to her and smoothed his palm over her hair. “Has it calmed down?” She rested her forehead against his chest and nodded. “Okay, I’m going to call, and the doc is meeting us at the hospital, okay? Want to go pee and stuff?” Another nod. “Well you’ll need to move if you’re going to do that.” Another nod, with a groan. “Come on, I’ll get the bag and lay out something warmer for you to put on.” He helped her stand and together they shuffled to the master en suite where he left her to use the bathroom while he made the call, and fifteen minutes later, they were out the door with the paramedics.

* * *

Over thirty-six hours after her mother was admitted to Lower Manhattan Hospital on William Street, a baby was born. Five weeks early, weighing in at five pounds and eight ounces, with the umbilical cord around her neck and an irregular heartbeat, she was whisked away from her parents within minutes of birth and taken to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. With careful monitoring and treatment, her heartbeat settled and her blood was flowing as it should, and she was returned to her parents at around eleven pm the day of her birth.

“Kate, Rick… there’s someone here who’d like to meet you properly,” Dr Hawley announced herself as she entered the room with a bundle of blankets. They all looked drained, exhausted, but the new parents could not stop the smiles that began to grow on their faces. “Little Castle, here’s your mommy and daddy.” The doctor waited for Kate to situate herself comfortably in the bed with Rick right by her side before passing the baby across. “So, it’s a girl… Guess ‘Apollo’ is out…”

Kate snorted and laughed, startling the tiny girl into looking up at her with wide eyes. “Dr Hawley… Rebecca… meet Grace.” Rick ran his finger over the baby’s soft cheek and she smacked her lips.

“Well, looks like Grace might be hungry. You want to try? She’ll benefit from the skin to skin contact too, keep her warm. The steroids we gave you just before birth for her lungs have worked well, and all the scans came out just right. She might be a little on the smaller side right now but I’m sure she’ll end up at least as tall as you, Kate.”

Rick’s eyes grew as wide as his daughter’s. “Let’s get through the first meal before we think about where she’s going to college, okay?” 

Rebecca laughed, “You got it!”

Twenty minutes later, after discussing how Kate was feeling after the epidural, Dr Hawley left with a promise to drop in to see them the next day, leaving the three of them alone for the first time. 

“Oh, hey, it’s New Year’s Eve.” He glanced at his watch, “Almost midnight, we didn’t miss it! Shame we can’t see the ball from here, I never realised this hospital was so short,” Rick grumbled. 

“It’s not like we’d see it from the loft either. Just take your watch off so we can both keep an eye on it.”

Having done as he was instructed, Rick returned to the bed and took a turn holding Grace while Kate snuggled down a bit, resting her head on his shoulder. She laced the fingers of his free hand with hers and sighed.

“I don’t ever want to go through the last few days ever again.” 

He squeezed her hand, “Don’t worry about that now, we’ll consider it when the time comes. For now, one is plenty… ooh, time to countdown!”

They counted down from ten to zero and wished each other a Happy New Year, never taking their eyes off their beautiful baby girl.


End file.
